I am a sports fan

I am a sports fan.

I thank my father for this. He has regularly told me that unlike most men, he wished that I was a girl, because he knew that he would put too much pressure on a little boy to be an athlete. Dad was a baseball player. He played on all of the little league, high school, all-star teams that they had. I love hearing the stories he tells, mostly because it sounds like a play-by-play with color commentary of some of the most exciting games ever played. I know people make fun of what they call their parents or grandparents "war stories," but for some reason I have always loved listening to my dad's.

I still remember my dad teaching me how to throw a baseball and a football. I also remember a painfully bad attempt to teach me how to shoot a basketball. The football was hard and still is, but I've got it down now. I have small hands now, and of course even smaller ones when I first learned to throw. Because of the size of the football, (and I seem to remember it being a mini football) I could still not get my hand around enough to not let it slip out of my hand. Even today, with a regulation sized ball, my hand is too small it seems to be able to stay in my hand, let alone through a decent spiral, which I do. The baseball was much easier.

Then came catching. Good reflexes made that pretty easy although I remember being scared of ball when my dad threw it. I learned quick that if I kept my eye on the ball, I didn't get hit. Good life lesson there.

Batting was interesting as well. I did have the obligatory swing the bat allllllll the way around, watch the ball sail right on by. But I got that too.

I always figured that my dad would have wanted a boy, and sometimes I felt that I needed to do boy things to make him happy and for him to like me (child of divorce, I got over it). Then I realized I really just love to play the sports and watch the games.

I claim "hometown" sports teams as the ones I follow, mostly. Hometown, because it's Dad's hometown and because I spent most summers out east with him, learning said sports. So, yes, I am a Redskins fan. I am a Caps fan. I am a Nats fan. I am a Wizard fan. I am a United fan. I am a Mystics fan. (for all of you that have no idea what sports those are: in order, football, hockey, baseball, men's basketball, soccer, women's basketball.) The last three I don't necessarily watch regularly, but if I have to choose a team, those are the ones.

The one exception to this rule is that I am also a Boston Red Sox fan. Random, I know. Here is the reasons. My dad was a Senators fan, (Original Washington baseball team), when they moved (long before I was born), he said he would be a Yankee fan until Washington got a team again. I started out being an Baltimore Orioles fan, until Cal Ripkin retired, then I looked at the team and thought "I don't really have an attachment to the team, just him." So I started looking for a new team. I thought about the Yankees, but they were too....bourgeois. I became anti-Yankee fan, meaning as long as the Yankees lost I was happy. From there it was a natural progression to become a Red Sox fan.

I know that when sports come on the television, I easily get sucked in. It does not even matter what sport it is. Golf can suck me in if that's all I have to watch.

So that being said, Go all my sports teams, have good seasons whenever they are!

Mornings

I am a morning person. I love the peacefulness of this time of the day. There is something about the start of a new day that makes me feel like wiping the slate clean and starting over. It takes a lot to make me upset or unhappy before say 9am. After that, no promises.

Mornings have always been my favorite time of the day. When I was a teenager I did not get a lot of time to sleep in. Responsibilities, what a bummer. But I did get to see the sun rise, and let me tell you, that is one thing that never fails to make me smile. I could have the worst day ahead of me, but the sun rising always reminds me that it can't be that bad if I get to see this everyday.

Most people hate me in the morning because I am happy and energetic long before they are ready to greet the day. I bounce out of bed most morning. I am so not kidding. My alarm goes off and I am ready to go. I dance and sing my way through getting ready for work. Not because I love my job (although I do enjoy it), but just because I am happy about a new day.

Have you ever felt that? That you are just happy that you did indeed wake up? "Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the Present." Another one of those quotes I am not sure where I got it but it frames up nicely what I am trying to say. The day is the gift and the sun rise is the big (pick your favorite color) bow!

Enjoy your day, whenever it started!

Family Vacation...

Today is day two of my vacation. I am visiting family.

Because I am a product of divorced/remarried parents, I have more family then is really necessary. That being said, like everyone I have parts of the family I like, some I barely stand, and some I love. This vacation is with the ones I love! Which is why this is a vacation.

Having family is a gift, that you can never return. I have, and I am sure everyone else does too, members of the family that I wish came with a gift receipt. I don't even need cash back, store credit will do. Sometimes I am quite willing to donate them to charity, no need for the tax write-off.

I was once told that I did not have to like them, but I had to love them because they were family. I still hold to that.

So, getting back to vacation with family, I love this part of my family. They have all the best parts of people. They are funny, smart, interesting, loving and of course understanding. The conversations that are had are amazing! When I was a kid I could not wait to be an adult for these vacations, just because the group of adults here are some of the best people I know. Thinking back on previous trips I have realized that more than any other time in my life, these people have truly shaped the adult I have become.

Although many things could and probably would have come to light all without the help that these people have given me, I doubt that I would have the courage to have done half of it. Reading, although encouraged in school, my stepmother, dad, uncle and grandmother have always encouraged. Between gifting me with books of every all kinds, and taking the time to read to me when I was little, I have been pushed to love books. My cousins, although younger than me help to keep me grounded. That is hard to explain but they have a way of putting things into a perspective that I never think of.

I learned from this family that love is unconditional and blood does not always make the strongest bonds. (I mentioned earlier that my parents had divorced and that both remarried. This part of the family is from my step mother.)

I have been so blessed, or incredibly lucky.

Poetic feelings

I was given a book of poetry years and years ago by my Grandma Marianne, I don't remember the title of hand, but I always remember the book. It contains some of the more famous poems from John Donne, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Robert Browning, an many others. A couple of days ago, I was given a poetry journal by a friend. In it contains poetry from people I have never heard of and might never hear of again.

In looking at the different poetry in both places, I have come to realize that poetry is something I love, but will never have the words to write. Not because I am a perfectionist and cannot compete with the people whom I admire, but because I don't have the feelings in me to write those words.

Of all writing poetry requires the most feeling, I believe. My emotions have been numbed over time, I don't have it in me to write about great love or great loss. Death and birth, changing life's direction, I am there. I see it. I feel it. I move on.

This is not all to say that I have no feelings, goodness, I would not be human or alive to not have feelings. What I am saying is that there are certain people in the world that feel deeply about things, I feel about everything, but I don't go deep because deep feelings hurt, and I am done hurting.

This is why I am a realistic optimist. I know that life hard, been there, done that, burned the tee shirt, but I also know that the sun comes out and life goes on. I love life and I will continue to live it to the fullest.